Exploration, Discovery, Power
by alysson.limaguimaraes
Summary: When people have a radical shift in perspective, they doubt who they are. Sabrina Spellman signed her name away and her hair is different, now she must understand who she is and, more importantly, who she wants to be, just as a familiar but new world opens its doors for her.
1. Prologue

**Prologue - Encounter in the Night**

The full moon hung brightly upon the night sky with an unexpected tint of red, those superstitious would ponder that something monumentally nefarious must have happened in this night for such phenomena, however at this moment few are aware that a new journey in the darkness has been started this night which and nobody could truly understand the significance of it.

The mortals of Greendale passed for a great scare, believing a Cyclone would devastate their homes, only to be relieved nothing happened, few understanding the extent of danger caused and subverted by the secret coven of witches hidden in the city. The girl whom was the center of it all now encounters herself in the roof of her home, how new platinum hair seeming to resonate with light of the moon and energy beyond anything she had known, now hers to wield.

A soft sigh escapes from her mouth, many feelings difficult to be expressed and the last months pass through her mind, like a movie. Months of proud challenge to the old traditions of her religion, fighting for freedom, the many mistakes made during this time, the collapse of her relationship, until her final capitulation on this very night to protect those she loved, freedom for power, power she wielded almost effortlessly to destroy an enemy that so many witches and warlocks trembled behind protective spells.

_"Hellfire…the strongest fire, the flames that burn forever in hell and even the caster himself if he is not careful, and yet, it was so… easy. Was that the reason the Dark Lord insisted so very much for me to sign the book? Talent?"_ This same thought has been rewinding in her mind ever since she said goodbye to Harvey and isolated herself in the rooftop upon seeing. What scared her the most is remembering those witches that used hellfire, having studied their histories with Aunt Zelda, in particular one Spellman witch that ended up dead after failing to control the cursed fire.

The scariest part wasn't the ease she had with the spell, truly, even if it unsettled her, but the sensation of satisfaction that she felt while listening to the screams of the Greendale Thirteen and watching the emerald flames. She understood that was probably the result of them being the cause for her so sign her freedom away and the rush of power for the first time and yet, she saw in herself what many other witches were, viciousness, pettiness, a capacity for cruelty for their enemies, all things that honestly disgusted her until a few hours ago, however now she could barely muster disgust or guilty, only the fear of turning into someone else and picturing her friends reaction to it.

"I am a horrible person, aren't I?" muses the witch aloud to herself.

**_ "You..are..you..girl. Don't..fear..or..hate..accept." _**A chilling voice echoes in her mind, one that she had just listened a few hours ago while in that fated clearing of her botched baptism. Her whole body freezes for a moment, barely registering the words themselves.

"He is…advising me?" She couldn't help the incredulity that settled in her mind after his words registered in her conscious mind. The atmosphere had become oppressive without her notice and her breath was heavy and yet the power in her veins became much more active, the pressure serving as a tonic that gave a peculiar feeling.

Sabrina's experience with the Dark Lord has always been negative, filled with defiance and yet just a few hours ago she swore to answer his calling in exchange for power beyond of mortal understanding and he delivered his side, could he be here to demand her side of the bargain already? The uneasy that has been developed turned in despair and then resignation in a record time, but she could not resist to ask a gnawing doubt of hers ever since she discovered the lengths the church had gone to secure her allegiance.

"Why do you spend so much time for me, why do you even care!?" Her tone was firmer than she felt and she suspected the Dark Lord already knew that.

**_ "When...I...call...on...you, girl, you...must...answer, for...you...are...Lady Pandemonium" _**The oppressive and heavy atmosphere that settled around herself disappeared after his words and she could feel herself breathing easier, however, the platinum-haired witch barely slept that night, remembering the words _"Lady…Pandemonium"._


	2. Chapter 1 - Solstice

**Chapter 1 - Solstice**

_ pandemonium (n.)_

_Pandæmonium, the name of the palace built in the middle of Hell, "the high capital of Satan and all his peers," from Greek pan- "all" + Late Latin daemonium"evil spirit," from Greek daimonion "inferior divine power," from daimon "lesser god"._

Over two weeks of research, buried in books at every moment awake, yielded little but the most technical definition of the word "Pandemonium". The abode of all demons, the Grand Palace built in Hell for the Dark Lord and His Aristocracy. The answer just gave her more questions and she could not help but feel inadequate and unprepared, however, as loathe she was to admit, the feeling of satisfaction derived from the insane idea she was supposed to have power over Hell itself has been present and refused to go away.

She knew the very thought was supposed to be blasphemy in the church, but things started to make sense with this new concept, the huge amounts of time and energy to make sure she signed her name in the _Book of the Beast_, the amount of power she had and ease for her to use and control magic lately, even if her time has been spent mostly in research, her attraction towards exercising her new powers was similar to a compulsion, she had to actively resist the desire and focus in her task at hand.

The two weeks of obsessive research yielded little but headaches beyond that definition, however, it brought her much needed distance and distraction of the many issues that plagued her social life, beyond the concern from her family due to the late nights and sleep deprivation.

"Cousin?" The sound of knocking in the door along with her cousin's voice snapped her out of her memories.

"Ambrose? Come in." With a wave of her hand the door unlocks with a loud click and soon it is opened, with the figure of her cousin soon entering her bedroom. A worried look is visible when he sees the many books spread in her room, a few of them levitating around her.

"Aunt Zee asked me to take you away from the evil books that have kidnapped you in those days." The usual joking tone is present but Sabrina could detect apprehension behind it. "Have I been so negligent to my family?" The thought hits her like a sledgehammer and the guilt comes along with it.

"I will be right down, dear cousin, you may report your mission as successful to your Mistress." Jokes the witch right back. His face seems to clear with the joke and laughter colour his face as he makes a mocking bow, Ambrose goes back down after closing her door.

"Time really flew by, The Winter Solstice is tomorrow already." Mutters aloud to herself as she uses magic to put her books back in their places. "I will take a break with all of this, at least for the Solstice." With a sigh, she takes Salem in her arms and goes down to meet her family for the celebrations of the day.

The Spellman living room has always passed the feeling of solemness and tradition. It couldn't be different, of course, being where many clients of the Spellman Mortuary are received and, most importantly, decorated by her aunt Zelda. In this day, however, there was nothing of the kind. The living room was decorated with typical Yule decoration, but Sabrina could notice many of the things she liked about Christmas, even if disguised as Yule decoration. "Aunt Hilda's handwork, no doubt about that." A warming feeling spreads through her at thoughtfulness.

When the young witch arrived her aunts were already around finishing the preparations. "Hey, can I help with something?" Offered awkwardly, just now realizing she has helped with nothing ever since that night in the rooftop, in contrast with past years where she had a lot of fun with everybody decorating and just passing time with her family.

"It is okay, dearie, we are finished already, just sit a bit, there is eggnog at the table if you want to drink something." Answered Aunt Hilda in a soft and animated voice, pointing with her finger at the table to the side.

"It is nice to see you back with us, Sabrina, as much as I support your studies, burying yourself in books because you broke up with your boyfriend is not the answer, you are better than that."

That wasn't the first time Aunt Zelda used this argument, and yet how could I tell her that wasn't the case. If there was one good thing that came up with this new obsession was that I had an excuse to not dwell about the collapse of my love life and the strange awkwardness with my mortal friends, however, explaining what was that I had been researching would not only lift eyebrows, but had the potential to become a terrible breaking point in the harmonious family situation that I enjoyed, even more because at this point, I realize that in the end, they are those I can count the most.

"Aunt Zelda, It isn't like that, I just have all this power now, after signing my name in the _Book of the Beast_, and my education has been lacking to properly wield it, I am just trying to recover any time lost and use well what I was given in exchange of my eternal service." The bitterness in my voice is much more subdued than expected, given how much I rallied against this situation before that night.

Aunt Zelda's returning frown and rebuttal were stopped in its tracks as Ambrose enter the living room with a log in his hands. "Dear family, I bring you the protagonist of this night, The Yule Log!" His joke causes laughter to escape from Aunt Hilda and myself and softens Aunt Zelda's expression. After a few minutes the log in securely in the fireplace and all members of the Spellman family around it, Aunt Zelda with a lighter in hand.

"Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice, one of our most important traditions and unholy rite. The Shortest Day and Longest Night, when the veil between worlds is at its most vulnerable. We light the Yule Log, so our home is protected during this time of all spirits, malevolent or not, that see fit to wander around the world during this short period of time. Those flames must burn uninterrupted until the end of the Solstice, let its shine mark the start of our celebrations!" After lighting the log, a content and warm feeling spread around the living room, when we have a traditional Yule dinner, with Winter Solstice Soup, Sun King Soup, Pork Roast with Rosemary and Garlic, Pork Pie and Honeycakes.

The next hours let me calm myself, eating a family dinner, playing with the kidnapped baby Aunt Zelda intends to raise as a long lost relative and watching old Christmas movies with Aunt Hilda were enough to settle a great deal of uncertainties that have been distracting myself and for the first time since the disastrous necromantic ritual and the venture in Limbo, I allowed myself to ache for the mother I have lost so long ago. After weeks of worry and obsession, I cried myself to sleep and no thought was spared about the vague words of the Dark Lord.


	3. Chapter 2 - Spirits and Rituals

**Chapter 2 - Spirits and Rituals**

The sun was barely rising in the next day, the night stubbornly clinging to the sky when a young woman with platinum hair and fair skin, dressed with a red coat could be seen walking close to an abandoned building where hung the words "Gehenna Station". While not very subtle, the various wards around the building were enough to discourage any curious mortal that decided to venture in an abandoned building.

The Academy of Unseen Arts was hidden behind the doors of this place and it was the premier school built to teach Witchcraft for witches and warlocks of the younger generation. It also had a very strict regulation about lending books, to the point that Sabrina didn't intend to risk the kind of curse that could befall her in returning late books, so even if she decided to give a pause in her research, she had to go to the academy's library before she could enjoy her Solstice properly.

Passing through the doors of the Academy has always been something of wonder, a new world hidden in plain sight and the wonders magic could do with enough effort, in moments like this she could understand, even if only a little, the reason so many witches and warlocks disregarded mortals as insignificant. The Academy was mostly empty, many have been gone to enjoy vacations of this time of the year while those whom stayed would be sleeping soundly so early.

The journey to the library was uneventful, but she couldn't resist browsing the books after returning the pending volume. She has always been a curious person, witchcraft was never an exception, and recently the possibilities of what she could do with it has been growing without a visible limit, coupled with the fact she couldn't resist pushing those limits at every moment, only recent failures and miscasting with terrible consequences made caution to become a necessity.

\- Bonk! - While entranced in a book about conjuring fire the sound right to her side and the displacement of air of something falling in high speed was enough to make the young woman to let the books in her hands to fall. – Ahh! – Looking to where the sound came by her side while taking back the book dropped, she saw one tome that was larger than any other book she was familiar and due to the last weeks, she could say that was a good part of the library.

"Tome of Death" Written in the cover of the book in red letters the reminded her of blood, the cover looked like leather at first view. Putting the book she was reading back in the bookcase, she tried to pick the tome, but it refused to budge. After trying a few times without success, the young witch sat in the floor and opened the book.

The first thing Sabrina noticed about the book was that it was much more of reference book, similar to an encyclopedia, than a spell book or the Book of the Dead she had borrowed from Miss Wardwell. It tried to instruct about the matters of talking with the deceased and other spiritual or supernatural entities, many of those she remembered to be principles used when entreating demons, which she learned in Demonology.

While, at first, the idea was only to sate her curiosity by browsing through the book, her eyes were drawn to a faded section almost immediately as something came to mind.

"_Communication with entities from other planes" _The first thought to come to her mind was that Limbo was supposed to be another plane. The fact this book just fell without explanations and seemed to contain instructions in about communication rituals found only in a Book of the Dead left her suspicious and the fact she wasn't very confidant in her understanding of old latin to match the one used in this tome, her curiosity won against caution and she copied what she could from this particular section.

It was almost noon when she left the Academy, hurrying home. The afternoon and evening were heartwarming, just like others years, as if everything was the same. Soon night was around and second thoughts started to show up in the young witch's head. Remembering previous rash spell castings that resulted in misery and danger to all around.

Witching arrived and just as everybody went to sleep in the Spellman residency, the youngest sneaked out of the house, such a similar occurrence in other's households with teenargers have a largely different meaning in this case. The trek was short until the place her mother was buried, and yet every step seemed heavier than the last, until the final destination was reached.

The grave was still the same, clean and whole as a new one, just beside her father's in the cold air of the night however, the feeling of peace Sabrina always had when visiting wasn't present this time, in its place agitation and anxiousness filled every fiber of her being. Swallowing the nervous spit, preparations for the ritual were done mechanically, circle drawn by special ink she "borrowed" from her aunts, candles prepared in the right places, fighting to stay lit against the icy wind.

The heavy clothes were the last to go, the pale fair skin exposed to the gelid weather of december, the body shivering from the loss of protection. Prickling her finger to let a single drop of blood to fall in the circle, the enchantment is finally pronounced:

_"Amate spiritus obscure, te quaerimus, te oramus, nobiscum colloquere__**, **__aput nos circita" _

She could feel the air becoming heavier with every word, her powers screaming through her veins, pain came first but she refused to falter and soon pain gave way to euphoria and even the cold disappeared, if somebody was around, they would see her eyes turning black.

The last syllable pronounced marked the apex of the ritual, followed right after by a sudden downturn of energy and a panting girl looking at the same empty space in her circle, much more disappointed than she expected herself to be. Resigned from the failure, she tried to move to collect her things she noticed her legs seemed to be immobile, as panic starts to rise, she feels the same sensation of power screeching through her veins coupled with many shadowy substances congregating in the middle of her circle. Panic surmounted due to curiosity and the sensation of her powers being stimulated still addling her mind, Sabrina can't help but keep looking, fascinated, as the shadowy construct grows to become taller than the witch and assume a form similar to a woman.

"I...come...to...answer...your...call" - The voice is rough and the sentence breaks after every word.

"W-Who are you!?" Recovering from the great surprise rapidly, a bad feeling fills her heart. _"I can't have screwed up another spell!"_

"Diana...Spellman" Comes the answer Sabrina wished never truly came.

"Why are you like this, made of shadows?" Anguish is clear in her voice, however, the shadowy construct answers like a machine.

"You...have...called." Tears trickle down Sabrina's face and, remembering this spell would soon run its course, she decides to ask something that could has been in her mind for years.

"W-Who killed Edward Spellman and Diana Spellman?" The question is met with silence for many seconds and the girl wants to beat herself. _"Of course there wouldn't be an answer, spirits aren't omniscient, how could she even know that."_

"Why did you baptize me?" The question escapes her lips before she could think of something else, something that drove her to long nights of wondering and much frustration. The world seemed to freeze for a moment and the energy that saturated the air started to rapidly disappear, the construct unraveling and the candles extinguishing one by one. Pushing her own power in the air, the process is halted just enough for a last answer reach the ears of the witch. "Tainted...Blood...Sin"

The last candle is put out, the energy of the air disappears and the shadow construct unravels completely. Sabrina falls in her knees, the exhaustion of the spell finally catching up with her. _"Should have warned someone" _Was the last thought in her mind before passing out in the middle of a december night with only nightwear.


	4. Chapter 3 - Aftermath

**Chapter 3 - Aftermath**

When she awoke, the first thing she realized was the comfortable sensation of her bed and warm feelings of her covers. _"I guess my aunts found me...Ugh, I can already picture the lecture coming."_ Deciding avoidance as the best tactic at this point, she just turned on the bed and tried to go back to sleep.

"I wouldn't suggest you do that, missy, unless you wish to be grounded for eternity." The amused voice from Aunt Hilda seems to have an edge she had only seen in Aunt Zelda before and for the first time she sees the familiar resemblance as she turns on the bed and looks at her.

"Eternity is a long time, Aunt Hilda" The girl tries to joke back as she prepares to get up from the bad.

"Well, sneaking out of the house to do a dangerous spell in the solstice, passing out due to magical exhaustion, leaving us to find you after Zelda felt a sharp spike of magical energy in the graveyard are all good reasons, I would think." The resulting silence was the only possible good answer she could give,beyond getting up and, as mortals say, face the music.

"Eat, when you ready, we are waiting for you at the parlor." The mature witch leaves a tray with large amounts of food in the foot of her bed and leaves, not before messing her hair when the young witch's face is shows concern at the her earlier words.

After eating the food left in the room and finding out it was almost evening already, which explains why she ate everything in the unusually extravagant tray of food, the young witch descends the stairs solemnly, just like a resolute convict goes to face his execution. When she arrives at the Parlor, Aunt Zelda is standing besides the crib, playing with Baby Letitia, while Aunt Hilda is knitting something still in its first stages, Ambrose is feigning to read a book, poorly as his eyes moves in her direction constantly ever since she descended the stairs. Meeting his eyes, she could only discern worry and glee _"At least he is finding the situation funny, maybe I am not in so much trouble as I thought."_

The next few minutes were awkward to the youngest Spellman, Ambrose still looked at her, but made no movement to talk or say anything while Hilda focused in her crochet and Zelda ignored the new arrival in favor of the baby until her voice finally echoes in the parlor.

"Babies are so cute and innocent, we can't avoid but shower them with love and protect them from anything… we teach them, so they don't make our mistakes, and yet, we are disregarded as they grow up." Trepidation and Guilt fills Sabrina's mind as Zelda continues to talk in a voice filled with helplessness and anger in equal amounts.

"Do you have any idea, Sabrina, what I felt when we found you passed out, nude and cold and pale as a corpse in the middle of the night? Vestiges of old magic around you and the smell of blood in the air? " Finally turning her face in her direction, Sabrina can see the red eyes and dark circles around them, she just opens and closes her mouth.

"I thought it was a phase, you know, teenage rebellion and other things the mortals have been complaining in the last decades, I forgave your recklessness, even as more and more people were involved and you kept going deeper. I kept my distance, supported you when you asked for support."

"Zelda… Calm down." Hilda tries to interrupt as Zelda lifts her hand, a symbol for her to stop. "No, Hilda, it needs to be said."

"Sabrina, you tried to summon somebody from beyond this plane, in a Solstice night and didn't bother to tell anybody. Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"I...I needed to talk to her, she was stuck in Limbo." It takes a few moments for Sabrina to find her voice, however the answer was closer to a whisper than a proper answer.

"You have no idea, do you? Communication with any entity from other plane, mortal souls most of all, is extremely energy intensive, to the point that several witches will usually make a Seánce to share the burden. A burden that is even worse when contacting those from outside Hell, and you tried to bear it all by yourself, did you like the result?"

It took what looked like hours for her to find her voice, avoiding the concerned eyes of her cousin, silent until now but with the book forgotten in his lap, the tender eyes of Hilda, and the angry eyes of Zelda which seemed to burn her with guilt.

"It was a shadow… But seemed like what I read from Wraiths, no emotions or expression, n-nothing." Her voice cracked in the end.

Sighing with pity, Zelda's anger evaporates. Putting a hand in her niece's shoulder, her voice is soft but firm. "Sabrina, when someone dies… It takes a long time until their soul is whole again, the trip to other planes is difficult and most human souls fragment entirely during the journey. Mortal souls are even more susceptible, while Witches and Warlocks are anchored due to their pact with the Dark Lord, even then, it still takes years until they are whole enough for a communication, even then, we hardly communicate regularly and hesitate considerably when extremely necessary, due to one simple fact, can you guess it, Sabrina?"

Confused and teary eyes meet the mature witch, silence spreads to what seemed eternity until confusion gives place to understanding and, with it, horror.

"T-the s-soul will be h-h-hurt again?" There was desperate hope in that voice, hope to be wrong.

"Simply put, but correct. After every communication, the soul gets hurt more and will take longer to be fix itself." Solemn eyes meet reddened eyes, tears flow freely down her face. Without hesitation, Zelda hugs the girl, Hilda following swift with Ambrose, tears and anguish filled the Spellman parlor.

The next day, Sabrina was at her school, the last day before Holidays and she wanted nothing more than hide in her covers and forget about the rest of the world. Her impulsiveness and lack of knowledge again combined to create a terrible consequence, but self-pity was stopped in its tracks by her aunts. _"You can't hide in your room because something bad happened, didn't you want to go to mortal school so badly? Go and be productive, we must all live with the consequences of our actions" _. Aunt Zelda's argument reverberated in her mind, it was how she was all but expelled from the house.

After almost crying herself to sleep, Ambrose explained to her that all wounds of the soul heal with time, even if it takes a very long time. _"At least I didn't destroy my mother's soul, I just mutilated and crippled her for an indeterminate amount of time." _Bitterness and self-loathing fills her at this point and the thought of having a normal day of school after that didn't help anything.

Baxter high was the same as ever, with only a few christmas decorations to remind of the approaching holidays, students hurrying through the corridors to reach their class in time.

"Brina!" It isn't long before she hears a familiar voice shouting her nickname. Roz was almost running towards her with an ease smile in her face.

"Are you okay? You never showed up yesterday and when I called your house, yous aunts said you weren't feeling well."

"I am better now, thank you. By the way, what's new?"

"Ah!, We had to submit that social studies project, remember?"

Widening her eyes with the mention, for a moment she just forgot about her problems with magic, souls and she was just a normal teenager scrambling about forgotten homework.


End file.
